Experiencing Life

One week ago I finished my first marathon and boy was it a marathon!

 You know how in casual speech, we often use the word "marathon" as a word that is synonymous with "a super long time?" For example, we might say,  "That day was a marathon" or "There is a Walking Dead marathon on this weekend." And personally,  I have used this term to differentiate  between the child-birth labours of my children.  I have said " Giving birth to Rylan was more of a "marathon" whereas, Amelia was more of a sprint." In fact, the term "marathon" is used so frequently in this way that  I would wager a guess that more people use the word "marathon" to describe something that took them a really long time, than those who actually know how long an actual marathon is!

Well let me tell you, running a marathon, really is a marathon!

Now, some of you many be thinking... " Is she kidding? Didn't she know she was running a marathon? Of course a marathon is far!  What did she think she was doing? " Well, let me explain: having  an intellectual understanding of how far 42. 2 km is actually really, completely useless if you have never actually, physically tried to to run for that distance before.  I  have always respected people who have run marathons.  I even understood that yes, it is VERY challenging to run that far.  But thinking how it is going to be challenging is really not very helpful when you are actually physically running the race. It is hard. Yes, I knew it was going to be hard, but as I mentioned before, I didn't know how it was going to be hard. During training, I had lots of moments that were challenging. I had sore muscles, chaffing, muscle spasms, general fatigue, feelings of discouragement, breathlessness, blisters, toenail loss, and cramping.  I had plenty of moments that were uncomfortable in all sorts of weather. But, never once, did I have the problem I had on race day.

Don't get me wrong. on race day I had plenty of sore muscles, and yes, I had some chaffing. Fatigue, well yes.... lots of that. I did also acquire a few new blisters and at times a little bit of breathlessness. But I never though I would be physically ill. Nope. Never considered that I might feel like puking up my Sports Beans and  Strawberry-Banana Gel for the last quarter of the race.

The thing is, even if I had considered the potential to dry heave every second step for a good hour, I am not sure that it would have helped. So, even if I was prepared for the inevitability of realizing that those gels taste worse coming back up than going down, I would not have understood really until I was there, physically experiencing it.  

Some things you just have to experience.

The amazing thing is, that after a lot of walking and heaving and walking and running and heaving and just walking, somewhere around the 40 kilometer mark of the race. I just ran and I felt, ok doing it. And when I had finally reached the point where I could see the finish line, I felt so fantastic that I didn't notice  fact that I was soaking wet, had burning arm and thigh chaffing, blisters on several toes, a stinging sunburn and my legs felt as though someone had injected a needle of novocaine them.

And when I saw my friends and family along the sides cheering me on, I felt like I just won the lottery. I have never felt such gratitude and appreciation for everything I have as I did in those final moments of the marathon. Maybe it was just pure adrenalin, or increased serotonin or some other scientific phenomena that scientists like to talk about, but let me tell you, this finish line moment is one that is incomparable to anything else.

Like the puking and heaving, it was a moment I had not prepared for.

You can't.

Some things you just have to experience.


I want to thank all of you who encouraged me, donated to the BC Lung Association and/or were there to cheer me on on race day.

 Thank you to my family, my husband Derek and my 2 children, Rylan and Amelia for waiting extra long in the hot sun for Mommy to run by. Also thanks to my mother-in law Fran and her partner Alan for coming out to support me as well. Also to my good friends Sara, Drew and Rachel Jarvis for your interest and support and for taking the time out of your Sunday to come down to cheer me on.  Also thanks goes out to  Todd ( thanks for the on the course encouragement), Liza and Sydney Packer for your support!  In addition, thanks Tana ( and Martin, Josephine and Genevieve and Marilyn),  for waiting around after finishing your own marathon to see me finish! And,thanks to all of the Lowe Iron Runners for coming back after finishing your 1/2 marathon to cheer us all on!

And, last but not least, thank you to my running partners Joan and Mona for your encouragement and wisdom and fabulous descriptions about what to expect! I really couldn't have done it without you!

I am happy to report that I raised $1190 for the BC Lung Association.  Thank you to all of you who donated.  I feel good that the money will go to good use.


It feels like something is ending, but as everyone who knows me knows, my running journey is far from over. I will have many more experiences and many more running induced revelations in the future! Thank you for joining me!
.

It is good to have an end to journey toward; 

But it is the journey that matters in the end.

Ernest Hemingway

A Step to the Edge

So I walk up on high

And I step to the edge

To see my world below

And I laugh to myself...

Cause its the world I know

-Collective Soul

On the outset of this training, I e-mailed all my friends and family that my goals for this marathon journey were two-fold.  One was to complete my first marathon, and the other was to raise $ 1000 for the BC Lung Association in honour of my father ( who has Pulmonary Fibrosis) and my husband's Aunt Mary-lynn (who has stage 3 lung cancer). I truly believe the answer to creating more favourable outcomes for diseases like cancer and pulmonary fibrosis is research. The BC Lung Association is a volunteer based charity that focuses much of their money on research. I have currently raised $765 for the BC Lung Association, thanks to many family and friends.  If you are a person who was thinking about donating and haven't yet, or someone who thinks they may want to donate to this very worthy cause, please do so now.  I am only $ 235 short of my goal, and would love it I was able to meet what I set out to do. 

Click here if you are able to donate:

Sara's fundraising page

Thank you!

I feel like I have run up high and stepped to the edge, just like in the song by Collective Soul quoted above. I have done all I can do,( with the exception of 2 short runs this week). I have hiked to the top of the mountain and now I am ready to leap. Our lives are what we create and I have created this journey for myself and now I am ready to finish what I set out to do. I have feelings of apprehension, pride and sadness all at once as this journey is reaching its conclusion. I am so grateful for both the opportunity and the people in my life who have helped me come this far. Thanks you to all those who have supported me, read this blog or just showed interest in my training.

I am very lucky also to have such a supportive group of runners to train with at the Running Room. Not only do they provide hours of entertainment during long runs, but many of these people provide me with all sorts of good running advice. One piece of advice I received to counter the mental breakdown that is likely to occur in the last 10 kilometers was to dedicate the last few kilometers to different people.

 In this vein, I have decided to dedicate the last 7 kilometers to important people in my life.  Kilometer 36 is for my Dad ( the year he was born) for inspiring me to "get busy livin." Kilometer 37 is for Aunt Mary lynn (if she can endure all that chemo therapy, I can finish this race), Kilometer 38 is for my Mom (also the year she was born) for being the strongest willed person I know.  Kilometer 39 is for my husband ( who is probably the most supportive husband out there) Kilometer 40 is for my daughter Amelia (who I endured a very painful (no pain medication) labour giving birth to) but whose will is only second to my mother.  Kilometer 41 is for my son, who has a beautiful kind spirit,  and Kilometer 42 is just for me. 15 years ago I would never have predicted that I would run a marathon, and there is just something about proving yourself wrong and growing as an individual that is exhilarating.


Thanks to all my running friends for your advice and companionship! I truly couldn't have done it without you.  May your race next weekend be everything you hoped it would be! ( I am sorry they don't allow dogs at the Marathon, Niko,  you were the strongest runner among us!)

"If you want to change your body, exercise.  If you want to change your life, become a runner."

Faith in Butterfly Moments

"The butterfly counts not months but moments and has time enough."

Rabindranath Tagore

I am at the point in my training when I am required to have some "faith." I don't mean faith in the religious sense ( although I suppose you could think of it that way... but I am pretty sure God has way more pressing issues than how I perform in a marathon... like world hunger, war, health epidemics and such). What I mean is, I have to have faith that my training has prepared me for running a marathon in 2 short weeks. Seeing as how I have never run 42.2 kilometers in one day before, and seeing as how I have only run 78% of this distance in training, I am finding that leap of faith a little bit challenging. Sure veteran marathoners will attest to this plan, but really, will it really work for me?

Perhaps it is difficult for me because it seems that I question almost everything.  I feel like visual and political trickery is everywhere. Digital manipulation is rampant ( Did you all see that very convincing video that made its way around social media of a snowboarder who was seemingly being chased by a bear? Well, it was digital trickery. Yep. No bear. ).  And really, I have gotten to the point of laughter at politicians and their constant misdirections and election promises. So, when someone tells me to just "trust the what they say about the training" I feel a little bit apprehensive.

But I must trust something right?

Douglas Coupland in his book, Life After God spoke about small moments in our life. He said that if we take notice of these small moments, collect them and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends.  He said, "certain  voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us.. and we would realize that we have been having another life altogether; one we didn't even know was going on inside us." There is so much of life that is part of  "clunky day to day" world that we deem as being important, but really it is just "noise" and the important stuff is the "small silent moments"

It is these small silent moments that I trust. It is the moments when I watch my children play together and I can clearly see their imaginary world coming to life. Or, it is when I am running along the path in Port Moody at sunset and the darkness of the trees creates a perfect shadow against the water -or the moment when  my daughter took her first steps ( when she was so proud, and all of us who watched her were glowing with smiles); or watching my son become so immersed in his book that he doesn't notice anything else going on around him; or the moment I finished my first 10 km run,and  the day I finished my first half marathon.  There are countless moments that I trust. If I look at all of these moments several themes emerge. One is, of course, the importance of my family - and another is running.

The butterfly, one of the world's more beautiful creatures, lives life in moments. Watching a butterfly is almost hypnotic. It will stop and pause its wings momentarily on a flower or a branch. And then it gracefully moves on. As with  most creatures, it doesn't have the ability to question its life purpose, destiny or even reason for being.  It undergoes a complete metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a flying beauty and lives its life from moment, to moment, flower to flower. It doesn't look ahead, it doesn't look behind-it just takes what is in front of it.

When I sat down to write this blog this week, I found it hard to come up with a focused idea. I think it is because at this point,  I feel like I could connect every part of my life from past to present to this moment. I am reminded of a few lines from a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox called The Law that my dad likes to recite: "Somewhere on some planet, sometime and somehow/Your life will reflect all the thoughts of your now." I feel like everything in my life has led me to now. All of my good, bad and ugly moments have led me to this point.

And so, I am going to take some wisdom from the butterfly and approach the rest of this training and journey to race day living in those "small silent moments,"  I am going to live each moment as it comes. I am going to attempt to let go of my apprehensions and fly gracefully to one flower, and then to the next, because this- this is what I trust.

Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments

Rose Kennedy

Nightmare Maranoia

The nightmares have started.

Before every race I have ever run, I have had running nightmares. Basically, they usually include me, in a race, completely screwing it up. For example, I could be  racing with inappropriate footwear (boots, flip flops, slippers) to not wearing any footwear (barefeet)  Or, I could have missed the beginning of the race due to unforeseen events ( sleeping in, car accident, getting lost) or, getting lost during the race, and never finding the finish line. My favourite dream is when I am running and suddenly I am confronted with a large obstacle ( an ocean, a building( that requires me to scale it ) or a maze with never ending hallways). In any case, each nightmare is just a variation of me not being able to finish what I started. I usually have these dreams the week or so before the race. This time, they are happening 3 weeks before. This means, my subconscious is worried two weeks ahead of schedule! I think that it is because I am headed into the "dreaded" taper. Today, I finished the longest training run before race day. Next week I will be running less, followed by another week of running even less. It seems that my subconscious pays attention to my running schedule, and thus disturbs my sleep with seemingly endless anxiety dreams.


 Why is this taper so dreaded? One would think that running less kilometers would be a good thing. Less kilometers means less muscle soreness, less chaffing and more time with my family, which seems to me, are all good things! However, like many things in life, the simplest explanation is not always the best one. Human beings are complicated.

 I haven't done a marathon taper before, but I imagine it is something like a 1/2 marathon taper, only longer.  It is during the taper that all seeds of doubt start.  Did I train right? How I am going to finish the race, when I am tired after doing a long slow pace? Then, typically, I start to feel some impending injury.( Does my knee hurt? I think I feel something in my thigh. Or, I think my throat is sore, am I getting the flu?)  And now that I am attempting to finish a 42 kilometer race after only training up to 32 kilometers ( actually 33 today...small detour due to a nice, big black bear in our way), I am trying to figure out how I am going to do 10 more kilometers on race day. Remember when I talked about the conversation I have with myself when I am running? One side of my brain thinks positively, while the other side holds negative thoughts.   It seems that this is the point in my training when the negative thoughts take over. ( Are you freaking kidding me? I am supposed to do 10 more kilometers on  mental strength? I can't even finish a race in my dreams!!!!!)

Now before you all start thinking that I am completely mentally unstable and in need of professional help, I would like to inform you that I am not alone. In fact, Runners World ran an article that spoke about this very thing. They called it "taper madness." And, if you google "taper psychosis" you will find pages and pages of articles and blogs about how runners go a little crazy during the taper. In fact, a blogger ( Run Jump Blog) made his own meme about it and called the condition "Maranoia":

Another article I found online that speaks about "taper psychosis" is  Fellrnr. They say that when a runner's belief  during the taper part of the training does not match the reality of their situation,they are experiencing "taper psychosis."  For example, it is common for a runner to feel slow and lethargic while tapering. They also say that many new aches and pains occur during the taper period. Short runs seem unexpectedly tough and feelings of doubt and uncertainty can be overwhelming.

I think it is pretty clear that I have Maranoia, and I think my subconscious knew it before I did.

But, good news!  While there is no cure for Maranoia (and it is only temporary), there is also lots of advice on how to deal with it. Everything from talking to others, using relaxing techniques, getting massages ( I like this one) to  just telling yourself that it is "normal. are ways to make the "dreaded" taper easier.


In spite of all the crazy messages my subconscious sent me this week, I had a good week of training, Every challenge ( even the fake ones I have in my dreams) helped me prepare and feel stronger. I have heard it said that the journey is the reward, and when I look back at all my blog posts, I really feel that this entire journey, from the beginning weeks to race day, will be the reward. Running a marathon is not just one day. It is hundreds of  kilometers and hours of mental tests. So whatever mental tests I will have to endure to get this job done, I am ready. Take that Maranoia!.

 

Terry Fox

"I guess it comes down to a simple choice really, get busy living or get busy dying."

Andy Dufresne-Shawshank Redemption

When Terry Fox died, I was 9 years old. I remember where I was when I heard it on the radio. I remember feeling the loss and disbelief. I was young, but I was not too young to understand how sad it is when someone who gives us hope  for a better world leaves us. It felt like something beautiful was over. 

Many Canadians and people all over the world  have felt inspired by the story of Terry Fox, but none more than those of us who live in his community. Today, many runners took part in the second annual Terry Fox Training Run. Everyone knows the story of how Terry Fox ran marathon a day from St. John's Newfoundland to Thunder Bay, Ontario in his Marathon of Hope, but few people think about the training he had to do to complete this amazing feat. The route for this run is inspired by a 10 mile route that Terry completed frequently during his training which goes literally, right by my house. After the amputation of his right leg, he learned to run again at the track where my kids learned to ride their bikes. This track is also part of the run. I take great pride in the fact that I live where he trained. 

It would be very easy for me to go on and on about the amazing physical feat it would have been for Terry Fox to complete the training to run across Canada ( never mind doing it in 42 kilometer installments) ( which it was) or the amazing courage he showed in facing his illness and completing his goal ( which he did), or how he was instrumental in changing attitudes toward people with disabilities ( which he was), or that his sheer will and determination was ( and continues to be ) an inspiration for anyone trying to overcome adversity (which it is). Writing about what an amazing and selfless person he was would be very easy. What is most interesting to me today, though, is how despite his terrible prognosis, he stayed focused on his goal. He was sick. He lost his leg from cancer, but he still remained focused. He could have stayed home and felt sorry for himself. Or, he could have gone to a beach and drank some mai-tais.  I don''t think anyone would have begrudged him of this, but he chose instead to get busy living. But he did more than just get busy living, he meant to help others to get busy living. He thought beyond his own life. Not a lot of people do that.  

The distinction between living to live and living to die is small. We all will die. So what are we doing if we are not just filling up time before then? The difference is more than semantic. The difference is how we approach what we do. When my father was first diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis he told me he was not going to just sit in his chair and wait to die. He sure hasn't so far. He gets out for exercise every day. He has been working madly on a book that tells the story of his family. He has been living. We don't all know when we are going to die, but when confronted with a possible end date, I think what we do with the time tells a lot about our character.

In the last year of his life, Terry Fox chose to live in the most selfless way. He wanted to change what people knew about cancer so he could create different endings. One of my husband's favourite movie quotes is from Gladiator when Maximus says: "Brothers, what we do in life...echoes in eternity." And when we think about Terry Fox, what he did echoes on and on. Because of what he did, and the money that the Terry Fox Foundation raised, countless lives have been changed.  When Terry was diagnosed with metastatic osteosarcoma, the survival rate was less than five percent.  Today it is over 80 percent and amputation is almost unheard of. And, this is because one young man, who was average guy in many ways, did something extraordinary with last days of his life.

For the first time in my training this past week I had some aches and pains that affected my training. I had to stop during my tempo run ( making it a non-tempo run) because I had a painful muscle spasm in my right calf. Luckily, I was able shake it off, stretch it out and hobble slowly back. Even more lucky, after ice, heat, Ibuprofen, and stretching, I seem to be back to normal and was able to complete my 29 km long run today with no problem. I did a lot of complaining about this when I got home from my botched tempo run, but the discomfort I felt was nothing compared to the pains Terry Fox had to endure. He suffered shin splints, and inflamed knee. He suffered from tendonitis and developed cysts on his stump.  Still he kept going. I am a healthy, 2 legged woman, and I am not running a marathon every day and I still get aches and pains. I can only imagine the kind of pain he felt every day. If Terry Fox can do what he did, I can certainly complete one 42.2 kilometer run, right?

So today, I dedicate my run and my blog to Terry Fox. Thank you Terry Fox for choosing to, and inspiring us all to "get busy living."

"It occurs very rarely in the life of a nation that the courageous spirit of one person unites all people in the celebration of his life and in the mourning of his death... We do not think of him as one who was defeated by misfortune but as one who inspired us with the example of the triumph of the human spirit over adversity."  

Pierre Trudeau, 1981

For Turkey and Brussel Sprouts

During the Opening Ceremonies of the 2012 London Olympics Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) did an hilarious bit when he became  part of the London Symphony Orchestra playing the Chariots of Fire theme song. During the performance, while  he unhappily poked out a single note repeatedly on the synthesizer, he faded into a daydream of running on the beach with the runners from Chariots of Fire. Of course, Mr. Bean could not keep up with the athletes, and flagged down a car to give him a lift to the finish line.

And here for your viewing enjoyment is the clip: :Mr. Bean Chariots of Fire

How many times have I been on a run and thought, "You know what I need right now? A car."  Well, it has happened at least once. Okay, more than once. I love running, but every run isn't all high fives and feelings of accomplishment. Sometimes it is just hard.    The hardest run this week was on Wednesday night, after we ran to the top of Westwood Plateau (7 km of uphill)and then had to run down again (all in the POURING RAIN). ( I am not going to go into detail about how running in the pouring rain can be a test of character,as I have covered that already in an earlier post, "Wall of Water," but lets just say it was highly influential in how I felt about the run).  Now, for some, running 7 km up hill would be the hardest part. Not so for me. The hard part was running DOWN.  And the reason for this is part psychological and part physical.

 For me, the run DOWN  the hill was like the brussel sprouts at Easter Dinner. It was not the main part of the meal, but it was part of the whole spread. Brussel sprouts are good for you, but in a totally different way than turkey, but without turkey, there would be no meal. Nobody ever shows up to Easter dinner for the brussel sprouts. I don't even really like brussel sprouts, but I eat them because they go with turkey.Going up the hill is the main meal: the turkey,  while going down the hill is the bitter tasting, hard, brussel sprouts. And for the sake of this analogy, the brussel sprouts are cold. So, psychologically, I didn't care about the  run down the hill because all I really wanted to eat was the turkey. I showed up for the turkey.  Physically, the run down the 7km hill was cold- it was like the brussel sprouts were just taken out of the freezer. So not only were they just a supplement to the main course, but they were cold and hard much like the ends of my fingers on the way down. It is hard to enjoy something when you are beginning to wonder if you will ever enjoy the sense of touch again. This was a time when I could have really used Mr. Bean's car.

Remember all that mental strength stuff I talked about a few weeks ago? Well all that inner strength isn't going to help me one iota if I am  not motivated to get the job done. So why didn't I call a cab for the ride down the hill (apart from the fact that I didn't have my phone on me)? Well I get my motivation from many places. Perhaps one of the strongest motivating factor is fear of failure. If I am going to complete this marathon, I need to be both physically and mentally strong. The only way I am going to be able to do this is by completing the training. If I don't do the training and I don't complete the marathon, then I will be letting a whole bunch of people down (my family, the BC Lung Association, all the people that donated to the BC Lung Association  and myself, just to name a few).  Also, my running companions,Joan and Jack might have been worried if I suddenly disappeared (This is why running in a group is so much better, people!) And, it certainly would be a terrible end to this highly entertaining and informative blog, if I didn't finish. (Yes, you are supposed to laugh at this last statement).

So what is the moral of this story?

Sometimes you have to eat some cold, possibly frozen, brussel sprouts with your turkey.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Oh, and I ran 61 km this week, and never once did I flag down a car to get a ride to the end.

The Joy of Running

One of the best things Bill Watterson did when he created Calvin and Hobbes was that he gave us a beautiful reminder of what it is like to be a child ( at least in days before kids spent hours and hours in front of a screen). Calvin spends his days discovering and imagining ( even when he is forced to sit in the cold refines of the classroom). His attention span is seemingly short and he spends most of his time running about exploring absolutely everything he can. He doesn't even realize that he is, in some ways,  like the ants and continues on his way looking for the new best thing.  The difference between Calvin and the ants, of course, is that Calvin runs for joy and the ants run for work.  

As runners we are like both Calvin and the ants. Metaphorically, we are like the constantly busy ants. Our lives are busy. We run from thing to thing just to get things done. We need to get groceries, clean the house, do the laundry, get the kids to their activities, make our meals, and of course, get in a run. Life is busy, and training sometimes makes you feel like an ant, but in the end we are like Calvin: running for the joy of it. 

The joy that Calvin feels of course, has very little to do with the actual act of running but the joy of finding something new and interesting with his imaginary friend, Hobbes.Calvin goes everywhere with Hobbes, and some of his best learning experiences are when he is interacting with him. In this instance, he is able  to run without even thinking about it. If his teacher had asked Calvin to run around the track at school, he likely would have protested, and would have probably not succeeded- but to run with a friend to discover new things-this is magic. 

In the 1930's Lev Vygotsky, a Russian psychologist, wrote extensively about learning and the importance of social interaction.  Basically he said that learning results from a developing sense of belonging and identity in various contexts of participation.  In other words, he said that talking, socializing or just being around other people influences how we see ourselves, which in turn influences how we learn. He also wrote about how it is social interaction that allows learners to go beyond what they can do independently. and coined the term, Zone of Proximal Development. The Zone of Proximal Development is the distance between a person's actual independent ability and the level of potential development, which can be achieved with guidance from, or collaboration with others. In spite of the fact that his writings were criticized and censored by the old Soviet Union, he became, posthumously, one of the most influential persons in education theory.

Vygotsky was mostly speaking about cognitive development when he postulated his theories, however, I would extend them to include all aspects of learning.  When a child first learns to ride a bike, they do not just hop on and start riding. They are guided with the help of parents/siblings or friends to balance.  Someone may hold the bike until the child feels comfortable and gradually, lets go. On his own, a child would be unable to reach this goal ( at least not as quickly) but with others he is able to achieve what he couldn't on his own. When you run with a group, you not only get guidance from more experienced runners, but time spent chatting about running (and pretty much any other topic) helps refine your philosophy, your posture, your technique and your attitude.

Others are important to help a person achieve their goals, but they serve more than just an instructional purpose. Social interaction is enjoyable. Being around other people influences not just how we see ourselves, but also how much we enjoy or do not enjoy a particular activity. If we enjoy a particular activity, we are likely to continue. Without our 'Hobbes" in our lives, we would just be running around aimlessly like ants.

I ran like both an ant and Calvin this week for 60 kilometers, but could not have done it without my running friends. A particular shout out goes to my Marathon partner, Joan, who challenges me every week to go faster. And thanks to Steven Lowe for including me in his "Lowe Iron Runners" group, which is helping me get in my "zone." Thanks to all my running friends for being my Hobbes.

"As a runner much of your success comes from the people you surround yourself with"

John Stanton

 

Creating Inner Strength

"Strength does not come from physical capacity.  It comes from indomitable will."

     Mahatma Gandhi

This week I actually had time between runs, work and my sons hockey tournament to watch a movie. The movie was Amy, the documentary about Amy Winehouse, the 27 year old jazz singer who had a voice of angel but whose life ended as a result of years of drug and alcohol abuse and bulimia. Tony Bennett, who had the opportunity to record a duet with her compared her to Ella Fitzgerald and Billy Holiday and said she was "an extraordinary musician with a rare intuition as a vocalist."For several years, she fought the little voice inside her head that told her to use alcohol and drugs, but in the end she lost that battle. She was very young when she became famous and like many other famous child stars (River Phoenix, Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, Justin Bieber, Dana Plato, just to name a few) she was unable to cope.  She seemed to have temporary signs of strength in which she abstained from alcohol and drugs, but in the end she gave up. One of her body guards noted that after her final time on the stage ( in which she refused to sing, and stumbled around completely wasted ) that it seemed like she had just given up. After her death, Tony Bennett expressed regret at not trying to give her the benefit of his experience and said, "Life teaches you really how to live it, if you could live long enough." In other words, life experience increases your ability to cope with the difficulties of life, but at the same time, you have to have the difficulties in life in order to learn to tap into your inner strength so that you are able to cope. Unlike Amy Winehouse, most of us have the luxury of making mistakes without being the punchline in somebody's comedy routine, but her age and her inexperience did her no favours and as a result the world lost a true talent.

Inner strength is something that all of us need as use in many facets of our life. Inner strength is the the thing that enables us to keep going in difficult times. Inner strength is always with you, and sometimes you have to dig deep in order to find it, but I think you also have to practice using it. Using the similar words to Tony Bennett, life teaches you how to find your inner strength.

When I first started running, the leader of the Sun Run Clinic I was in proudly stated that running is 90% mental and 10% crazy. At first, this statement made me laugh, but as I ran more and went through various struggles, I began to see how this was not far off from the truth .After reading a very good article in "Runner's World" this week, I found that this wasn't just anecdotally true, but also scientifically true, As it turns out, there is a doctor, Tim Noakes, who in his book, Lore of Running, basically says that it is the brain that allows or limits endurance performance rather than the body.  He says that "the brain is there to look after you and to make sure whatever you do, you do it safely." Other researchers have found that perception of physical effort influences how soon a person gives up.They tested this hypothesis with 2 groups of exercisers: one who were given a mental task before the workout, and one who just did the workout.  They found that group that did the mental task before hand gave up sooner, even though their physiological responses were not different than the other group, thus concluding that their effort was not due to  'cardiorespiratory and musculoenergetic factors." Other researchers have recently postulated that the brain can be trained to allow the body to physically handle more.  They say that you need to train your brain the same way you train your body. Training your brain to cope with discomfort is key to running success. Using Tony Bennett's statement again, you have to feel this discomfort, so that you can cope with the discomfort. If you don't have these experiences, you have difficulty accessing your inner strength on race day.

This week's training,  I am happy to report, had plenty of discomfort. From the hill training in the driving rain and gale force winds to the grueling 29 km long run, my brain was getting a lot of practice dealing with discomfort. At about 27 kilometers of my long run, my little negative voices started popping up in my head. My legs were screaming at me to stop, but I didn't. I am hoping that all this discomfort training is working, because if my muscles are sore at 27 km, I can't imagine how they are going to feel at 42!!!

Total kilometers this week: 58.
Total times I felt uncomfortable: infinite (apparently this is GOOD)

Life as a whole teaches you how to dig deep to use your inner strength when times get tough, and to modify Tony Bennett's phrase one last time, running teaches you how to run, if you last long enough.

The Need For Speed

This morning I asked my kids what I should write about in my blog this week. My 8 year old son Rylan says quite earnestly, "You should write about me!."

Slightly amused,  I say, "Hmmm, I could write about you, but how will I relate it to running a marathon?"

Rylan responds with, "You could write about how I am good runner, because I am really fast."

In the "keeping it real" department, Rylan has just recently figured out that skipping is not the most efficient way to win a running race, so saying that he is really fast might be a bit of an over-statement. Rylan could be a good runner, but at this point and time, I wouldn't put it on his top 10 best attributes. But I am also not going to stomp all over his concept of self, so I tell him  that talking about his fast running skills really doesn't require much explanation so maybe isn't the best topic for my blog.

This got me thinking. At what point in our lives do we start eliminating activities that we decide we are not good at? And what makes us think we are not good at something? When I was 8, I bet that I thought I was good at running, but for 20 years somewhere between the ages of 12 and 32, I decided that running was not for me. Now at 43 years old, running is such a huge part of my identity that I write weekly blogs about it. Why did I, as a child decide that I wasn't good at running? I actually think that it had everything to do with what Rylan said. He said he was a good runner. How did he know he was a good runner? He knew because he was really fast. At some point in my early adolescence, I decided I wasn't "fast" therefore, I wasn't "good"  Many children come to this sort of simple conclusion, but it is actually quite surprising how many adults also equate running speed with running ability.

What I didn't know at 12, that I know now, is that being fast is completely relative. As with many other things in life, there will always be people ahead and there will always be people who are behind. The race is truly only with yourself. What "good" actually means is also up for interpretation. What are we using to measure what is good and what is not? Is it distance, speed, improvement, or just plain letting go of a sedentary lifestyle? Or is it just committment to the sport?  12 year old me didn't question what it means to be good or what it means to be fast, so I just stopped running.    I have to wonder what Rylan will think of his running abilities in 5 years?  I sure hope he doesn't let go of the idea that he is good.

I spent a lot of time this week thinking about how fast I am running. It seems everyone has theory on how fast your training runs should be to meet your goal time.  The Running Room has guidelines, but then so do about a dozen other organizations, and none of them have the same target paces, but all of them subscribe to the theory that "fast" is not always "good." There are those who use heart rate and lactate thresholds to measure your optimal training paces,and then there are those who just use your last race and do some simple math. Since I haven't gone to the trouble to get my lactate threshold and VO2max measured, I am sort of stuck with doing some simple math calculations.

For my goal time of 4 hrs 30 minutes, some organizations say I should be running faster tempo runs and long runs, but my steady pace is fine. Others say, I need to slow down my long runs significantly (by a minute per kilometer in some cases) and speed up my tempo runs. The Running Room has the best interpretation of all.  According to RR pace guidelines, I am actually on target for running a 4:15 marathon. Two other on-line calculators said my training is consistent with running a 4:30 marathon, while another said 4:45.Of course, anything can happen on race day, and these paces are just estimates, but  what does a person do with all this conflicting information? Well, my plan is to stick with my steady run pace on Fridays (6:26/kilometer), try my best to increase my pace on tempo runs, and stick to a slower pace on my long runs. Also, participating in hill training and speed work should help with the increase my strength over all.

I put in 55 kilometers this week (a record for me!). Some hills, one tempo run (5:44 min/km), two steady pace runs(6:26 min/km) and one LSD run (26.7 km) (7:06 min/km). Next week is a drop down week, followed by another increase in distance.

The emphasis for my training is actually not what the title of this post suggests. It is not a desire to be fast,  but in increasing my strength and ability to run for longer distances. This does not make me any less a good runner than a super fast sprinter . It just makes me a runner with a goal.







   

Pumped up Kicks

To begin this post, this 8th week of training, I have provided a link to the song "New Shoes" by Paolo Nutini to get you into the theme of the week. Are you ready? 

New Shoes

"Hey I put some new shoes on, And suddenly everything is right, I said hey I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling."( Catchy song isn't it?)

I really did get new shoes this week, and here they are!

This purchase could lead me to talk about running shoes, different kinds of shoes, or the people who think that true running should happen without shoes, but I'm not. Runners go through many pairs of shoes, so each new pair usually isn't really a reason to sing. Except for me, today.

Why?

Well, it isn't because I got them for a good price ( which I did), or that the fact that they only had my size in stock of my favourite shoe ( which is true), or that I managed to get the shoes with my kids in tow AND they didn't destroy the store ( which actually happened).

It also isn't because yesterday when I took them for their first run, the rain actually stopped.Which, honestly, with the rain that we have been getting lately, seemed like a miracle brought on by my magic shoes. When I looked out the door before I went, it was pouring rain( as it has been for what seems like a eternity), but after I ran for about 200 meters, the rain completely stopped. and 200 meters later, the sun was shining.  It was like that scene in Forrest Gump, when Forrest describes all the different kinds of rain in Vietnam ("Little bitty stingin' rain,..and big ol' fat rain. Rain the flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath"), and then suddenly the rain stopped and the sun came out and then they get ambushed.  It was just like that (only without the ambush).

The real reason I am singing about my shoes  is because on the drive home from the store,  I realized that these are the shoes that are meant to take me across the finish line of my first marathon. These are special shoes.Never again will I have a first marathon.  Last week, I finished my 9th half marathon in good shoes. But this week I head to the marathon, and these are the shoes that will (knock on wood) help me get there.

And, when I listen to Paolo Nutini's song, "New Shoes"  I don't think of his, probably materialistic, intent, instead I think, "This is right. This journey is what I am supposed to be on." And, because of that, I am "smiling" just like in the song.

This week's training took me 41 kilometers. There was no LSD run because of the race,no Tuesday run because of family commitments,  but I did some hill training on Wednesday, and went for a fabulous 10km run in my new shoes on Friday.

Tomorrow I will run the farthest I have ever run in one day with my new beginning shoes (26km) and I am looking forward to seeing how my body reacts because, (sing it) "I "don't need an excuse, Cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes."

The Race with Myself

It's very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners.  Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.

George Sheenhan

Oprah Winfrey once said that "running [was] the greatest metaphor for life: you get out of it what you put into it."  Now, while I can see what she is getting at, you often get good results in running and life if you work hard, this metaphor is a little "life is like a box of chocolates" for me. What I mean is, it seems a bit trite and overly simple to be anything more than a catch phrase. (But then again, maybe I shouldn't be so critical- Oprah is very, very successful with a net worth of 3 billion dollars and I am just a running blogger with a current net worth of about 5 dollars. ) Don't get me wrong,  I like the metaphor. Running is a great metaphor for life, but I think it is far more than matching up effort and outcome. Sometimes all the effort in the world is not enough in both running and life. You are born with a body and a mind. Some bodies are more suited to some things than others, but I don't think this is the biggest obstacle in being successful.  The biggest obstacle to long distance runners is by far, the mind.  On some days, the argument I have with myself to keep going can last the entire run. It is not unlike the good angel and bad devil that used float above the head of my favourite cartoon characters as a child. One side of me, says "Who cares? Nobody cares if you stop, it is no big deal to stop,you can always start up again, common, just stop, I am tired, my legs hurt..." While the other side of me says "Common, I am stronger than that, I will feel bad if I stop, Its not much farther, I can rest later today... etc. etc." All the training and hard work in the world will NOT help you if you are not mentally strong- just like in life. Life is full of ups and downs, good luck, bad luck, unexpected events, easy and challenging moments. Sometimes it is just about putting one foot in front of the other and finishing the race. Other times, you feel like you could run the race twice. As it is with life. Sometimes you barely get through the day, and other days you feel like you could conquer the world.  

But Oprah is right about the hard work thing. Hard work will definitely increase your odds at success. 

I am racing tomorrow in the Pacific Road Runners First Half Marathon. Will it be a struggle, or will it be comfortably challenging? Will I spend the entire race refining my debating skills with myself? At this point, I think it could go either way. Forecast calls for rain, but I am normally good in the rain. I am fighting a bit of a cold as well, but as the day goes on, I do feel better. No matter what happens, I will continue to be grateful for the opportunity and the mental and physical wellness to participate in the event.

My training this week was significantly reduced. I ran on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Only my Tuesday run was tempo and I accumulated only 17 km of running. Next week, back to the grind of training for the BMO Vancouver Marathon.

That's the thing about running: your greatest runs are rarely measured by racing success. They are moments in time when running allows you to see how wonderful your life is.

Kara Goucher

Individual Pursuit of Happiness

"No man is an island entire of itself "

John Donne

In 1776, Thomas Jefferson drafted the famous words for the American Declaration of Independence that said that all people have certain unalienable rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There is much to be said about these words and how they are to be interpreted. Some say that they simply mean that all people have the right to pursue their own happiness.  However, this interpretation is somewhat problematic. Does this mean everyone has the right to pursue what ever their heart desires, no matter the cost to others? It is not hard to find examples of those who feel their individual happiness goals supersede others,but that is a subject for a different blog.  Others argue that the intention of the word "happiness"  at that time referred less to pursuits of self-gratification, and more to the "feeling of self worth and dignity you acquire by contributing to your community and to its civic life." ( Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, 2005).  No matter what interpretation of these words that you choose, it is hard not to see how they became the foundation of American identity.  

Running is a very individual sport, but like (or unlike, depending on your perspective) Jefferson's famous words, it is not solely about the individual. It is impossible to separate what we as individuals do, and the rest of society. We are constantly interacting with others and our environment. 

True, I do the running, but behind everything I do are countless people.  For starters, I run with a group at the Running Room. This week, on yet another rainy Wednesday evening, no one from marathon group showed up. It could have been the rain, the darkness or the fact that we are at the peak of flu season, I am not sure, but it left me with a decision: run the route on my own or join a different group.  I could have run the route on my own, but instead I ran a shorter distance with the 1/2 marathon group. I need the people. It is not just the encouragement I get from people like Tara Visser ( who, while running her own tempo pace across the street and going in the opposite direction, thinks to yell, "Looking good, Sara!"), but it is the feeling of doing something together. With the group,  I run faster, stronger and with better form. With the group, I will often forget about the distance, the cramp in my calf , or that I am running faster than I would have on my own. My individual pursuit collides with others and we work together, not against each other, to reach our goals. Even on race day, while we technically race against each other, in the end the race is just with ourselves, and in order to get there, we need others. 

It is not just fellow runners that help me in my individualistic endeavour.  Behind absolutely everything I do are these fine people:

\

If for one second, I thought that my running would hurt my family, my individual pursuit to complete a marathon would be over. But instead, they are my biggest champions and for that I am truly grateful.  

 And, this time, I have dedicated this training to two other people (my father and Aunt Mary-lynn) who are serving as my inspiration. They are keeping me accountable more than they will ever know.  My individual pursuit once again collides with others.

\

We are not alone. Even if we pursue out individualist dreams and desires for the ultimate goal of happiness we rely on others and others rely on us. It is not a right to simply pursue self-gratification, as this is not happiness. There is symbiotic relationship between your happiness and others. You cannot sacrifice others happiness for your own.  What happens to others happens to all.  No one is an island all by themselves. 

This week my pursuit gave me the following runs:

Sunday LSD:16.70 km 

Tuesday Tempo:6.26 km; 5.52min/km

Wednesday Tempo: (with 1/2 marathon group)5.12 km ; 5.52 min/km

Friday:  steady: 9.11 km. 6.26min/km

Total:37.2 km

Next Sunday is the First Half Marathon, so this next week will be a bit of a taper before vamping up for the remainder of the Marathon training.

Lets Work Together

A Wall of Water

Imagine you are standing underneath the cold waters of Niagara Falls. The water hits your hat, rolls down its brim, and creates a mini waterfall in front of your face. Your entire body is wet. Your fingers begin to wrinkle from the saturation of water in your skin, and you begin to notice the oddest sensation of, what feels like a small soft pea, rolling down the inside of your pant leg.  Your feet are sitting in water and as you move, so does this water, hitting the sides of your shoe like a pinball bouncing from side to side. On the inside, you are not cold. There  is a radiating warmness that only makes it to the inner layers of skin, leaving the outer layers feeling like someone has both rubbed you with chalk and pricked you with pins.

Now you have some idea about what my Wednesday night run was like.

Of course, I speak in hyperbole. The rain wasn't falling at 56 km/hour, like Niagara Falls, but holy moly, it was wet!

The latest round of the  "Pineapple Express"  visited the Lower Mainland, kindly bringing us tropical rain from the Hawaiian Islands, but forgetting to bless us with summer temperatures and palm trees.

Normally, I run well in the rain. But this rain was more like a wall of water. At 2 km, I was considering turning back.  At 4km, I considered turning right to take a shorter  way back, At 6 km, I considered standing under a strangers carport and at 7km I considered flagging down a cab and going home. But I didn't. I kept going.

Each time I considered these changes to my run, I had to remind myself why I was doing this. I am not just doing this training for me. I committed to raise money for the BC Lung Association. Running in the pouring rain is a challenge. It is not hard. Hard is fighting to breathe. Hard is getting yourself to Chemotherapy  when you know it is going to make you so sick, that you can't get out of bed. Hard is feeling weak, but acting strong.

Thank you for inspiring me to be strong.

Here are my stats for the week;

Sunday LSD; 21.56km.
Tuesday Tempo: 7.11 km  (5:53 min/km)
Wednesday (atmospheric river) Tempo: 10.16 km( 6:10 min/km)
Friday Steady: 6.49 km (6.24 min/km)

Total kilometers: 45.3


Here is my fundraising page again:

fundraising page

42

In the novel,  The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams, a group hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings demand to learn the "answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything" from a supercomputer they call "Deep Thought." After 7 and 1/2 million years, "Deep Thought" comes up with the answer: 42. Of course these super intelligent beings are confused, and want to know the meaning of the number 42.  "Deep Thought" explains that the meaning is an entirely different question, a question that it doesn't even know; however it can help design a even more powerful computer that can figure out the question. To make a long story short, after 8 million years, the process to create this new computer is thwarted (and the super computer destroyed) by some psychiatrists, who feared for the loss of their careers when the ultimate question became known. They didn't want to start over again searching for the question so the  best question they  could come up with is "How many roads must a man walk down?' from Bob Dylan's song "Blowin' in the Wind."

What does this story have to do with my marathon training?

42. 2 kilometers is the distance of a full marathon, and the distance is as seemingly arbitrary as Douglas Adams choosing 42 as the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. The original marathon, as legend has it, is the story of Pheidippides who was sent from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated.  He supposedly ran the entire distance without stopping and died after announcing that they had won. The distance he ran was actually only 40.8 kilometers (and he DIED after running it). Still, 40.8 kilometers is a very long way, so the Athenians honoured him with a run, (because why wouldn't people want do something that caused a man to die in exhaustion?) But, why then is a marathon 42.2 kilometers?  Well, apparently the Brits love their monarchs so much that in the 1908 Olympics in London, they lengthened the course so that the runners could run in front of the royal family's viewing box. And, for some reason, nobody thought to go back to the original distance.  Why go 40 km, when you can go 42?  Runners are so dedicated.

So this leads me to the answer to the question, "How many roads must a woman walk (run) down?"
The answer is 42. 42.2 kilometers of  roads.

AND 42.3 kilometers is the distance I ran this week!

See how it all ties together? I wasn't just rambling about books and history for no reason!

Yesterday, when I was running, I was feeling tired.  And, I gave myself all sorts of excuses, like I got to bed late, I have put in quite a few kilometers this week, I didn't eat oatmeal in the morning, etc. etc. That is when I realized.  What I ran this last week, is what I am going to be running in on ONE day! Yikes! What did I sign up for?

Here is how my week broke down:

Sunday; LSD: 19.66 kilometers. ( I was actually only supposed to be running 14 k, according to the marathon training schedule, but since I am running a half marathon on February 14, I ran longer)
Tuesday: Tempo; 6.67 km at 5.55 min/kim
Wednesday Tempo; 10.27 at 6.01 min/km
Friday Steady:5.67 km at 6.53 min/km

Total km: 42.3 km (42.27)

The legend of  Pheidippides and the battle of Marathon inspired so many to run the same distance just to honour his effort.  He gave his life, just to give a message. Now, others test themselves in this way all the time. People find answers in running a marathon. They find fulfillment, they find challenge, and they find purpose.  People really do find answers in 42.

Time may change me, but I can't trace time -David Bowie

"I still don't know what I was waiting for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

And every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet "

David Bowie (January 8, 1947-January 10, 2016)

Week 2

It seems that somehow in life everything points to time: how much time we have here on earth, how long we have to do what we want, need and desire, what time should we do it and at what time do we step up and make a change. All we have is time: time to waste, time to discover or time to make peace. It is what we do with this time that makes us who we are. 

In running, time is also very important. What is your race time? What time is your personal best? What time is your personal worst? What is your best pace? What pace should you be trying to achieve? Should you be going fast or slow? How SLOW is slow on your long runs? How fast should you be going on your tempo runs? The right answers to all of these running questions lead to the biggest question; how do I get a better race time? 

When I was in Grade 7 and trying out for the track team, I really wanted to run sprints. Mr. Stevens, our school principal, told me I should run distance, that my strength wasn't in running fast for a short distance, but in running farther at a slower pace. I completely rejected this opinion at the time, and did very poorly at the track meet. I never tried out for the track team again. Nor did I do any running of any kind until I was 31 years old when a colleague and friend, Debbie Rampersad convinced me to do the Sun Run training.

I spent most of my teens and all of my twenties doing very little exercise. I spent a lot of time partying. To say that I was out of shape would be an understatement. I couldn't run for 1 minute, let alone for 10 km.

 The beauty of the Sun Run Training Programme is that it designed for people (like me) who are completely out of shape. I started at running 30 seconds and walking 4 and 1/2 minutes. Then slowly, week by week the time running increased, and the time walking decreased. At first, it was painful. There were many times in the first month that I can honestly say, I hated it. But then I started to love it. I loved getting out in the fresh air, I loved meeting up with a group once a week.  I loved running around Vancouver streets and looking at neighbourhoods and areas I would never had ventured down had I not been running, but most of all I loved how I felt when I was done. And I don't mean that in the way that the running was so bad that when it was finished it made me happy, but I legitimately felt good. If I was mad before I went running, I was happy when I finished. When I finished a hard run, I felt like I accomplished something. I found that if I missed a run, I became irritable and unhappy. And when I crossed the finish line on race day, I was, for perhaps the first time in my life, proud of myself. I think it was the first time I had actually had to work hard for something.  I had done almost zero physical activity in my 20's and I had managed to run 10 kilometers.  Time had changed me, but a part of me, deep down, felt that I hadn't changed, but I had become what that Grade 7 girl should have become; a long distance runner. It was there inside of me, I just didn't know how to access it.  Time had allowed me to explore something inside me that lay dormant. I have been running ever since.

After working so hard to complete a 10km, I can honestly say, I would never have thought that 12 years later I would be training for a Marathon.  I actually thought that marathon running was for crazy people. At that point I knew how hard it was to run 10km, running a marathon seemed as likely as becoming a noble prize winner,yet here I am, training for a marathon.

How I spent my time training this week:

I am still trying to figure out how to train for a half marathon on February 14, while at the same time do the full marathon training. This week I stuck with my marathon group, but next week I am going to have to put in some more kilometers for the half I will be completing in February.

This week:

Sunday LSD: 13.46 km very slowly. It was super icy. Ice skates would have been more useful for this run. Eventually we gave up on the sidewalks, altered our route and went in the trails. It was much better!

Tuesday Tempo: 6.35km 5.55 min/km in the POURING RAIN.  I was soaked but it was good. I really don't mind running short runs like this in the rain.  I actually have some of my best runs in the rain.

Wednesday Tempo 10.24km 6.10min/km.  This was a tough run. I was tired, and needed food. Wednesday night runs happen at 6 pm and I can never figure out what to eat and when.

Friday Steady: 7km.. not sure of pace, battery in watch died AND my phone refused to pick up GPS. It was quite tragic. This bothered me the entire run. If a run is not recorded by an electronic device, it is like it didn't happen. I was gone around 45 minutes....sooooo whats the math on that?  6.26 min/km?


Weekly total: 37km

This week I am going to close with more words from the late, creative genius,  David Bowie;

"Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace
I'm going through"

When is the last time you did something for the first time?

"When is the last time you did something for the first time?"

John C. Maxwell

One week down, sixteen to go!

This was the first week of my Running Room Marathon Clinic and it was a good one! I am the only "first timer" in the group, and I found it very cute that everyone was making sure that I was ok and coming back! Do  people really back out of training in the first week? I mean, the first week is the EASIEST week in the entire clinic. I don't plan on dropping out, but I would think that if a person was going to drop out it would probably be once they realize that they are going to spend a better part of their Sundays running... somewhere around week 5 or 6, when they realize they are spending more time with their running buddies than their family. On the other hand, maybe spending less time with their family would be a good thing ( again... not for ME, but for other people). In any case, I have completed my first official week of training and I  still plan on training for the next 16 weeks.

The running workouts this week:

Sunday: 14.56 km (Long slow... average pace : 6.46 min per kilometer)
Tuesday: 6.71km (Tempo: average pace: 6.04 min. per kilometer)
Wednesday: 9.93 km (Tempo: average pace 6; 10 min. per kilometer)
Friday: 5.72 (Steady.. Average pace 6: 36 min. per kilometer)

Weekly total: 36.9 km

I still feel good. No aches and pains. Yet.

I found out something wonderful this week.  Based on my estimated finish time of 4 hours and 30 minutes, I can slow down my tempo runs without feeling guilty! And actually, if I am following the Running Room training program strictly, I should probably be slowing down my long runs too. Or maybe I should speed everything up, and try for a faster time! I am resisting the urge to write a serious of lol's after that last statement. Many runners are uber competitive and are constantly looking at ways to improve their time and be better and stronger.  This is a good thing. I am super impressed with their motivation and drive.  However, I really struggle to fit into that "type."I feel good when I improve, and nothing beats the feeling of completing a race with a personal best time, but if I was given the choice to go a little bit slower and feel better during the race but not get a personal best time, I would just go slower. Sometimes I just ENJOY the race,  I watch the people, I look at the scenery and I contemplate how lucky we are to live in a political and environmental climate that allows  for so much outdoor activity. But most of all, I contemplate how lucky I am to be healthy enough to participate in such events.

Don't get me wrong. I am not against going for a personal best time. I am just more for avoiding a personal worst time.

The best thing about training for a marathon, is that I have no personal worst!  Whatever I do in this training will be my personal best( and worst)!  There is great a feeling of power when doing something for the first time- especially something that many people from my past ( including me) would never have thought I would do. It is liberating and wonderful to go outside my comfort zone to do something for the first time.

When WAS the last time I did something for the first time?